Perpetual Poppycock

BAAAhahahahaha…

If you missed the Day 1 post, I think Day 2, perfectly illustrates my point. Check it out here to see what you missed. Moving right along!

Perpetual poppycock continues. This is the stream of consciousness rambling from the mind of a self diagnosed, untreated ADHD person who wants to try another way of thinking. It took me four attempts to write that one sentence because I kept getting lost in the perpetual poppycock of thoughts that hinder my ability to conclude an idea. Good grief. It’s exhausting. But maybe stream of consciousness brain dumping is the filter necessary to reveal the nut graph of my thoughts. It’s kind of like stereograms, where a 2D image is used to reveal a 3D image below it. You have to stare between or behind the 2D image to see what the artist is actually trying to show you. It’s like that! Only it’s my brain and I have to filter behind all the perpetual poppycock to reveal what I’m actually trying to say or do.

It’s not that I can’t complete a sentence or hold a conversation. Outwardly I probably seem pretty normal, but in my mind my thoughts are like the feet of a duck busily flipping around underwater trying to keep the duck afloat, while it appears peacefully floating above the water. It’s becoming harder and harder for me to appear calm, cool, and collected these days. My brain seems to be reaching critical mass. I forget more than I remember most days.

Anyway, I figured I’d brain dump out loud and share how I’m trying to improve. The irony is I do a lot of project management in my professional life so I’m stealing from some of those principles and applying them to my personal life. Not everything I do is a project in my personal life, but approaching some aspects of it like they are projects can be helpful in navigating them.

One of my biggest struggles is doing things I want to do, like hobbies or personal projects, with any real success. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and professional, who finds true happiness in giving my time to my people, but I struggle hard with giving myself even a little bit of the same time and support. Oh, and I’m a stereotypical middle child with two alpha siblings on either side. So, add that to the thought tornado that happens when I try to make decisions by myself and it truly turns into a dumpster fire of ideas and contradictions at all times.

Back to my Day 1 post. I mentioned putting together a list of things I’d like to spend time on and after some consideration…300 days…I’ve come up with the following. This is a mix of projects and hobbies. I haven’t figured out how to accomplish most of them but that will be part of my process.

Goals, in no particular order and subject to change:

• Write or create content for my website
• Play piano
• Play guitar
• Redo master shower
• Redo/paint interior doors
• Paint interior trim
• Create feature wall in living room
• Paint exterior
• Landscaping
• Crochet stuff
• Golf
• Improve conversation skills
• Get my PMP
• Improve fitness
• Lose a little more weight

Those last two are worded specifically. I lost 70 pounds from July 2022 – May 2023. I practiced OMAD and worked out regularly. I have drastically improved my fitness and lost weight but those two are still goals I have plans to continue. I’ll go into those to in more depth another time, but I listed them as separate because in my experience they are mutually exclusive. Fitness is attainable without losing weight and weight loss can occur without increasing fitness. I’ve definitely experienced that over a lifetime of being many different sizes and fitness levels, and we’ve all heard the expression “skinny-fat”, I’m sure.

So, now I’ve accomplished my goal of making a list! The next step is to create some actionable plans and research tools/skills needed to succeed. If you thought its inconceivable how long it took me between the last two posts, historically, this next phase is where the wheels truly come off the track. Wish me luck!