Perpetual Poppycock

I’m 45 and just went to Disney World for the first time. I don’t think this post is going to be all that helpful but I wanted to document my experience for fun and some details that made it extra special. Here’s how it went down.

Disney has always been on the list of places I’d like to visit, especially since becoming a mom, but it’s always seemed just out of reach financially. I didn’t want to go and not get to try the food, or take advantage of a fun experience, or have to stand in the long lines because I didn’t upgrade to the fast pass because I’m a cheap a$$. I’ve also never been able to see around the perpetual poppycock that clouds my decision making ability and go through the process of planning a trip. And make no mistake, you have to plan for a trip to Disney.

For a long, long time, I tried to figure out the “best”, “cheapest”, “smartest”, way to take my family to the happiest place on earth, but I couldn’t get farther than looking at the website and putting some hotel and ticket options in my cart. Completing the purchase on those attempts was never an option because before I even looked at plane tickets, the accommodations and park tickets would tally up around 4-5k. That is a bit steep for my budget, so I would abandon cart every time and move on to a smaller, more affordable vacation.

This process went on for years. I never made it happen, BUT as fate would have it, I finally got to go and experience the magic for myself, thanks to my job! I wasn’t able to do it with my family, but I reconciled those guilty feelings and decided that at 45, when life offers me a nugget of good luck, I should accept it and get over the propensity to self sacrifice. And with that, I was off to Disney!

I work in technology project management for a newspaper and a vendor I work with offered me an invitation to attend a conference for our industry that was being hosted on Disney property. Why, yes I would LOVE to go, thank you! My registration covered my conference, hotel, and two evening passes to two Disney parks for me and a plus one. The tides were turning and things were looking up for me.

My husband was unable to attend due to his own work obligations, so I decided to invite my good friend Emily, who used to be a Disney cast member (that’s what they call employees) and have a fun Disney adventure with an expert. She is the absolute best and she made the trip amazing.

Ok, so down to the nitty gritty of what I wanted to relay in this post. I wanted to try and detail what its actually like to go to one of these big theme parks from a total newbie’s perspective. To offer insight for those who were like me, trying to understand what you absolutely have to do verses what is just a money grab. But more importantly to highlight how someone like myself, with very limited ability to make decisions due to analysis paralysis, can go and have a great time. Unfortunately, I might have had one of the most unique experiences ever and I’m not sure it could ever be replicated. It was, in a word, special.

As I mentioned earlier, I was sent to Disney for a conference by a vendor, so each day from 9-5, I was in sessions, panels, and networking activities to learn from vendors and peers about a relevant topic. My Disney park experience, didn’t begin each day until 5 pm and we only had 4-5 hours each night to pack in as much Disney activity as we possibly could. We did opt to buy one additional pass for the day before the conference so we could include a few more hours at the parks on our travel day, so in total we had 15-16 hours in the parks over the course of three days. That’s not a ton of time, but thanks to Emily, it was meticulously planned and action packed. Here’s what we did.

1. Make a plan, with an expert

We met a couple of times before the trip to plan and decided on the must see parks based on my limited knowledge of what each one had to offer. Our plan included Magic Kingdom, Epcot, and Hollywood Studios. While I think the Avatar ride at Animal Kingdom is probably worth a visit, we had to cut something out so we sacrificed that experience for the greater good of the trip.

This planning step was the most painful for me in my past attempts because I couldn’t reconcile having to decide on things I’d never seen before, risking a huge amount of money on the experience. So, this is why I’m now a big supporter of working with a Disney planner to create your park plan.

Emily, is a park expert and true enthusiast from her years of working there, but she isn’t a registered Disney planner. So, I can’t recommend her at this time. If she ever decides to do that line of work, I will add a link to contact her here. In the meantime, ask around to see if friends can recommend someone. I think you will find that most of the Disney planners out there are good but if you can find one through a recommendation of a friend who has actually used the planner before, that is probably the safest bet.

Some of you might be like me and wondering if you can just go and wing it. The exercise of planning something like this can be overwhelming. The short answer is, yes, BUT the big caveat to that is you will probably regret it and not be able to do a lot of the things you see other people doing. I can’t possibly relay how long the line queues are for this place.

For this bullet point, I’m going to focus on planning and not the fast pass option. Fast pass is another way to plan, but regardless of if you purchase a fast pass or not, planning is key. The reason is, these parks are HUGE and packed with options. So, you will be walking, A LOT, and need to make, at the very least, a loose plan to make sure you see your must see attractions.

Take a look at this. I borrowed these images from the maps on this site. The map on the left is just Magic Kingdom and the list on the right is just the attractions in Magic Kingdom. That is a lot of possibility. If you don’t plan ahead of time, the 12 hours a day the park is open isn’t enough time to get it all done. Also, if you are trying to fit in two parks in a day due to travel time limitations, you really have to hustle.

The first day I was at the park, I walked 28,000 steps in 7 hours at Magic Kingdom and Epcot. We hit up Pirates of the Caribbean, Tron, two stores, Tiki Room, Carousel of Progress, got a dole whip, Country Bear Jamborree, ate at some kiosks in the Food and Wine Festival of Epcot, and watched the fireworks in Epcot. We barely scratched the surface of things to do at Disney. The next two days, I only had 4 hours each evening in the parks and you can see I walked well over 10k steps both of those days. The walking is intense, the attractions are great in number, so planning is essential. Don’t risk it. Plan ahead.

What you choose to see in your plan will be dependent on the age of your kids, amount of time you will be at the park, and how many parks you will visit. I will say I walked past a lot of attractions I want to see next time, but I think everyone feels that way. There is just a lot to see and one visit will never get it all in.

2. Timing is everything

Our trip was the week before Thanksgiving, arriving Wednesday midday and leaving Saturday morning. While its hard to find a time when Disney isn’t packed I do think it helps to go during a regular school week and definitely during a late fall or winter month if you are trying to cut out some of the crowds. The one big exception to that is, avoid holidays. Holidays are magical at the parks but they will be packed. Let’s break that down a bit further.

Disney World in the hot months of southern Florida are going to be hard. If you have never been to the humid south, it’s a real treat. Sweating is an olympic sport and it does not cool down in the evenings like it does in the northern part of the country. It is hot 24 hours a day from April-October. If you are heat sensitive, or know your loved ones will be annoyed by the heat, don’t go during those months. You will be outside the majority of the time, walking for miles, and that can be pretty miserable. The financial investment and hopeful expectations of this trip will already add an element of stress to this vacation, so don’t intensify that by adding the brutal heat.

November-March months will be a bit cooler. Again, if you have not experienced the heat of the deep south, it will be hard to understand this but it really never gets cold down here. I live in Louisiana and it can occasionally drop below freezing but its rare. Orlando, FL is further south and hotter. If you want to have a less sweaty vacation, pick one of these months. You might not get to do all the water attractions at your resort but you will have a better Disney park experience.

The other key to timing is getting less achievable. As more and more people figure this out, the parks are staying busy nonstop. Going during a school week is going to be slightly less busy, however more parents are taking kids out of school for a Disney trip lately so this might not always been the case. But here is the key to having the most unique, stress free, Disney experience ever. It needs to rain, nonstop, every minute you are there. That is clutch!

3. Unexpected blessings

Rain, y’all. Rain is the answer! It poured every minute we were there and that detail translated to never once, waiting in a line for more than 10 minutes, for anything. I rode the biggest, best rides, saw the amazing attractions, and clocked an average of 17k steps per night, all thanks to the rain. It was nuts!

I know you can always plan to be there when its raining but my point is that if it does rain, it might not be a bad thing, especially if you use these tips for a successful rain day in the park.

First tip: Don’t use a poncho! Wear a raincoat, not a poncho. Emily and I were fortunate that we both had a raincoat that packs into a small pouch when not in use. We used them the entire time but we were able to pack them in our luggage easily because they compress into little balls for light travel.

Disney does not allow ponchos to be warn in the exhibits or rides. That means all the people who had ponchos were taking them on and off constantly. Emily and I got to power walk easily in and out without having to deal with any of that. It made a huge difference in our time and efficiency. It also felt less icky.

Second tip: Wear a hat. If you wear a hat under your raincoat, it creates a long porch for your forehead that keeps the rain out of your face. Again, this is a small detail but it made a big difference. This is especially helpful if you wear glasses. Spotty glasses are no fun.

Third tip: Don’t wait out the rain showers. Just go. When the rain starts a lot of people run for cover and do things like shop, eat, or take in some of the shows. This is your chance to get on the rides that typically have long lines. The raincoat and hat will take care of keeping you dry enough to enjoy yourself so just go out in the weather and let everyone else wait it out.

Like I said before, I don’t think this post will be all that helpful. I went as an adult, without my kids, during some atypical circumstances, so my experience in a word was, unique. But maybe someone will read it and find something entertaining about it. I definitely enjoyed myself and hope to go back with my family one day. I also think it would be fun to go on an adult trip to the Food and Wine Fest again. Epcot intrigued me and I do love a good meal! Happy planning!