Perpetual Poppycock 3

Dear Perpetual Poppycock,

It was a fantastic Christmas weekend! We tippy-toed slightly outside our bubble and had immediate family over for the holiday. It was so much fun! Now we wait the 14 days to make sure no one falls ill before we can breathe a sigh of relief.

I don’t take these jaunts outside of our regular day to day lightly. We are doing as much as we can to ensure we don’t become infected or infect anyone. I’m sure some of it seems overkill to several but its what we are comfortable with so that’s what we are doing at the moment.

I’ve enjoyed the mental vacation that leaning into intuitive eating brings. It is actually a big tool for reducing the perpetual poppycock that plagues me most days. One of the principals of intuitive eating is to remove all judgement around a food choice. That means ALL judgement. It’s harder than it sounds.

A good example of the poppycock that happens when I make a food choice would go something like this. I’d like to eat something, but what? Am I hungry or am I eating for fun? So what if its for fun?! So what do I want to eat. I want to eat that last piece of pizza. But what if my kids are hungry later and they want pizza? I would have caused them to be deprived of what they want and that would in turn cause me to have uncomfortable feelings because I caused them the discomfort of deprivation. Not to mention the whining that will come when I tell them I ate the last piece. And pizza isn’t the healthiest choice for someone of my size. So maybe I’ll have a sandwich. What kind though? I would want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but that’s just as bad as eating pizza. So maybe I should go to the store and get a salad. Why don’t I buy more salad stuff. That would make this easier if I had everything readily available to eat. Isn’t a salad a better option? But I don’t want to have to go to the store. I should have planned better. I guess I’ll just snack on these leftover Christmas candies. They are going to go bad and I can’t have them again until next year so I better eat them while I can. Its not ok to make Christmas candy any other time of the year so its now or never. I should only have one though. But I’m going to eat 4 because that is when my head and taste will be satisfied. Great, now I’ve eaten 4 big candies. I might as well eat the pizza too. I’ve already blown it.

That is not an exaggeration. My thoughts run wild with every thought about anything and ESPECIALLY about food. The rabbit hole after rabbit hole that I fall through makes it hard to see the path below my feet. So when I say I get a vacation from the perpetual poppycock when I practice actual intuitive eating the path is a much more navigable one. It goes something like this. I’d like a piece of pizza. I’ll eat one. THAT’S IT! Do you see the difference, LOL? It’s such a relief.

And the win goes beyond not dealing with the thoughts. Because I had the piece of pizza, I am not eating other things in confusion while trying to scratch the wrong itch. It’s amazing the difference that makes when you do it consistently.

I’ve also managed to make some to-do’s off my list removing some of the perpetual poppycock that is very similar to my struggles with eating. I bought new dining room chairs and playroom chairs. This has been a 4 year struggle.

I have always struggled to spend money on things that seem overpriced. Chairs are a great example of that. I’ve been buying cheap chairs for decades trying to not “overspend” on them. Instead of just putting a little more money into the purchase to buy what I actually wanted and getting a quality product, I buy lookalikes that are poorly made and cheap, resulting in new chairs 3 times over the last four years. Let me do the math for you. I spent $600 over the last 4 years on chairs that fell apart and looked ragged, causing emotional strain because they aren’t the end result I wanted in addition to the cost of replacing them.

All I had to do 4 years ago was invest a little more up front and I would have loved the chairs and they would have lasted much longer. Its just a constant struggle in my head to choose what I actually want and be ok in that choice. I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but its ok to want what you want and then to give yourself that exact thing.

Between practicing intuitive eating for the past several days and buying some beautiful, quality chairs I wanted, my mental exhaustion has greatly diminished and I’m happily relaxed for a change.

This trend will be my goal for 2021. I’m feelin’ fine.

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